oldmanbeefjerky
Monday, 18 October 2010
how much wood could that rat throw if the bunny rabbit could eat wood?
Mood:
chatty
Now Playing: a fun game that i will never share with you evereverever
why thankyou for that fast , fast response to my question, and with gleekyness i respond to your question with a most reluctant answer that could overturn the most stale of cheeses.
the answer to your question of "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?", iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssss
the same amount of ladies that a lady bug could bug if a lady bug, could bug ladies, but of course they cant, so i must respond with unfawfulness, that the salutation expected for the future may not yet come ,
i am afraid that your question is incorrect!!
my answer does not respond to your question in the way my socks match each other in mortal combateach afternoon after sipping on the sweet necktar of softdrink bottles.
this is purely unnacceptable!!
however, if i must turn on my sanity for 1 minute to attempt to answer this most riddileous of riddles, i will fudge this data before your eyes in an attempt to tame your inquisitive mind
the answer to how many wood that the woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is 1.
if a woodchuck could chuck wood it would chuck one peice of wood, beacause it would realise after chucking the first peice of wood that woodchucking is boring, so it would then go on to do some other task like driving an iceream truck or exploding cottage cheesethat is threataning young monkeys that fly airliners. there are too many options in life for the woodchuck to select from, it would be too wasteful to waste it throwing wood in places that do not require wood to be chucked.
good day sir
(ill asume here you said something)
i said good day!, AND MAY THIS AFTERNOON BRING MUCH CARROT SLURRY TO YOUR FRONT DOOR.
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 3:29 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 18 October 2010 4:14 PM NZT
yay
Now Playing: yay
i have no more topis to disscus, my assenal of randomity has run to an end like when a snail meets a the wall that will surely secure its financial state via crushing it. i have nothing to talk about any longer i need your help, please help me help you help me help my dog help me help you help the chicken that cannot cross the road help you help me help you.
you see, there will be treasure for you if you do help, you shall plenter from the plenty plentifulness that there is plenty of in my writing, merely in the aroangment of words i shall light up your day like gasoline does to a small combusting cat or horse.
please, in the coments ask me anything , anything at all, i am terribly bored and require something to talk about, or i shall become eppileptic and obese, two things that encourage dioreeah of ideas, please dont let me flush my ideas down the can, and wipe my thoughts with kleenex , i am too lazy to use my own head, for i am putting too much efort in
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 12:51 PM NZT
Updated: Monday, 18 October 2010 2:04 PM NZT
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
my muffins ate my birdy?
Now Playing: with me, myself, my neighboor and i
hooray today is that onion firendly daate i mentioned above for today is this years second international onion day, hooray.
come one come all and mave the power that the onoin brings, hail the zweible and curse that garlic scum that finds its way into the general image of onions.
however!!!
there is still the topic that has gone untold and misdiscussed. and thhat is the topic of dirt.
thats right i said dirt, not mushrom, not pineapple, not the meaning of life , but dirt. are you amazed with much jelousy yet....... i am.
everyone must know the condamental ,funtamentals, of dirt. with dirt all your dreams will come true, you can build the highest sand castles, scour the lowest bean fields.
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 4:28 PM NZT
Monday, 17 May 2010
yes, me is a very smart meatball
Mood:
special
Now Playing: weres my pants in a pocket
once again , i greet you with my warmest of socks, i hope you had a happy threesday for today is thursday, and if you reject my offer your pants will always combust when you wear them.
like last time i was bombarded with mail, however this time was different with much todayzyness, i was asked to join a covert gift wraping operation, i deneid it becuase the wrapping of gifts is for ninjas and potatoes only. when worms fly without being sucked into apple tornadoes then perhaps i may wrap a gift that wont actualy go to anyone, it will just be a gift for nowher and nevone
to be continued at a more onion friendly dATE\\\
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 11:25 AM NZT
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
nuclear potato
Mood:
loud
Now Playing: deffy the demented guy
like all good fungus, i enjoy swiming in molted lead, sometimes if it is too cold i add some warm water to it or else i shiver into a grape.
i read some mail after i left the tub of bathingness and it said and i quote" hello oldmanbeefjerky, my name is ******* mc****ington of ****mcsvale, your blog entrys are random, and funny like chef B****
i have a tendancy to write * in areas of importance, anyway i would like you to answer this question as everyone else is too sane to answer it , 'who is osama bin laden', everyone seems to look at me in a stupid way when i ask and they just say 911 man 9 f***ing 11 man, then a fat guy come past and points at something green, any please answer this, it would meen alot to me and my dying grandmother who is in a hospital in (india)."
well mr ****, the answer to your question is a rather simple one
the answer is not who this person is, but when, when is bin laden, is he (ill asume he was hit by the apple not the arrow) at the time of my breakfast when i eat shoes and little bite sized holes, or is he at my 9,oclock tv show.
when i said i knew the answer i lied, i do not know when bin laden is becuase he is a magical time traveling broccolini disguised as the most wanted terrorist of the planet, he is everywhen and nowhen at the same minute, when he shall broccolini into now is not known, otherwise george bush would have a pink medal saying " i saved a whale", but he doesnt so it is un kown that he is currently is a secret base in the desert of islamabad , underground, forced to live out the rest of his life munching food.
i realy am sorry i could not answer your question of blaarg, please accept my deepest carrot.
have a happy threesday
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 12:02 PM NZT
Monday, 29 March 2010
shwifty 2
Mood:
special
Now Playing: still playing bananaphone
how does the chicken crosses the road
it does not , the chicken is not worthy of a cross of the road , it could not handle the ultimate supremacy of a road crossing with its mere little head tucked under its foot.
to be worthy of crossing the road it must take a quest of epicity, to reach the other side it must not cross the road, but walk around it .
oranges would laugh at this infutile attempt of justice, but that would be very wrong for the hammer that is this world, it would only forshame orange juice into thinking butterflys go well with bread flys
let the chicken decide its own fate, it could join its black ancestors on the pavement of road, or it can go on a quest that will bring immortality to tomatoes everywhere so they may yet free themselves from the shackles of pancakes.
lord of the rings is not made of socks!!
it is made of 5 socks inside a watermelon , who could predict the downfall of pegs.
if the chicken succeeds in this quest without fastlyness away from colonel sanders , perhaps all fried chicken will spring back to life from the bowels of a worm.
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 1:14 PM NZT
lemons
Mood:
accident prone
Now Playing: banana terracoto pie
when you got lemons make lemonade
when god gives you lemons, make a mud pie
when life gives you lemons, commit suicide
when the cat lady across the road gives you lemons, what do you do? you return the cat that she gave you and demand a lemon
but when a lemon gives you a good time, you give it lemon aids
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 1:07 PM NZT
Monday, 15 March 2010
the paste of bean
Mood:
incredulous
Now Playing: nintendo
many carrots have yodeld the question, what is the meaning of lard?
To their glad wrap, i respond with the answer , it is because the paste of bean. to paste the bean is to see the fiery underpants of a whales chainsaw, only then may you globin your gold.
but no one has ever seen a whales chainsaw , so the tomatoe may not ripen in a volcanoe. otherwise your local grocery store may sell red tomatoes and lard beans but this does not matter!!!! the pasted bean is to valuable for a single planet to own, so it should instead be shared with homeless people who live in giant hollow worm shells, only then may the leprechauns be caught and turned into gold flavoured boots thus saving all of the manities from the toxic cigar smoke they chew on.
once the carrots have finished with there endless yodel , the world will crumble like a crumbly cow ready to pick from a blueberry tree, but toes are not green!!
do not fall into the lap of the muffin or it will surely melt your lard into a action figg, one whos flavour does not cope with the hi salted society today.
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 4:01 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 16 March 2010 1:06 PM NZT
how to make a blog about making a blog
Mood:
not sure
Now Playing: wii
this entry is going to be my shortest, to make a blog about making a blog you must 1. make a blog 2. write in exactly what you did to make that blog.
tada!! you have now made a blog about making blogs, you are da bomb
this site has been visited this many times
Lolololololololololololololololololloololloolloloolol
Green soap is like the fiery underpants of a whales chainsaw
This is not the meaning of lard but an adaptor of purple.
Posted by oldmanbeefjerky
at 1:32 PM NZT
Updated: Tuesday, 30 March 2010 11:59 AM NZT
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